Blink, blink.
Your number is up. The critical re-evaluation of your worth
as a human being has just begun. This interview is part of our larger
re-structuring process.
What? You didn't think you could go on like this forever did
you? No, I’m afraid re-evaluations have always been part of the arrangement. Now
is the time.
Time to prepare for this? You've already had more than one
life time – in fact you've had quite a few. Not to worry, it really is quite
simple.
Yes, we know you aren't feeling very ready, never thought
the day would arrive, hey? Let’s begin anyway. Sit down please. Let’s start with a short self-evaluation: How would you rate your personal worth?
What? No, your finances have nothing to do with this (although
how you handle your debt is quite relevant.)
I’m afraid the finances you've raised for the ‘poor’ and ‘abused’
isn't quite what we mean either. Tell me
about your contribution as a human being, not as a number in the system or a
role in the play – I’m sure you were very good at those things, or not, but
this is real life we’re talking about here. This is about your human being-ness
– how have you been at that?
Okay, let me give you some help here...are you the person
you're meant be? I’m so glad you're spiritual, you got a raise and a new position and I’m
thrilled that you manifested that car, yes, your house does reflect your sense
of style, you buy Green and your friends talk well of you....but you still
haven’t answered my question.
Tried? Yes, I know. You've all tried, that is certainly true
– exhausted yourselves with all that trying, haven’t you? How’s that working
out for you?
No, apart from feeling martyred and deserving, how is it for
you really? Very trying, I would say! No sorry, excuse my humour. I realise
that this is no time to make little jokes.
Okay, well clearly you have been very busy, tried very hard,
pushed yourself, been a good role player and had very, very good intentions...I'm not explaining myself well, am I? I want you to explain this
mess you’re in. Tell me what value you have here, because, quite frankly,
although you have been charming and amusing and even rather interesting with
all your excitement about shiny things and other trivia, at the end of the day,
you really have made a bloody big mess.
Yes, I know, it’s not all your fault and yes, you have
already made it clear that you tried.
What could you do? Oh dear. I have to point out that helplessness
and feeling sorry for yourself is just going to send you rushing for a quick
fix when this evaluation is over and, well, to be honest, that is part of the
problem. Can you explain to me why you have made so many choices against your
better judgment?
Oh come now, you know the ones I mean.
Uh uh, no whining just because I've touched on a little
truth telling here. This evaluation can serve no purpose if you aren't at least
going to look yourself in the eye and assess this situation correctly.
Quite
frankly, it’s rather lucky for you that you are somewhat appealing, because the
evaluation is an attempt to give you a wake up call (again!) It would have been
much easier just to clear you all out and start again, but we have become quite
attached to all your clumsy ways and we really do want to see if you have any
value that we can somehow make work. Obviously we don’t want you to blow this
whole thing up and make an even worse mess that you have already done.
No. Please don’t cry.
I can see this attempt at a civilised evaluation process is
rather a challenge for you. I tell you what: why don’t you go away for a few
days and meet me again next week? That will give you time to compose yourself
and get your ducks in a row. I want you to think about how you have been at living
as the human you said you’d be. Please consider all aspects, try not to sweep
stuff under the carpet and only highlight your achievements.
Also, remember, this is about your worth. We are looking to
see that you have really been authentic in your contributions and relations to
this collaborative association. You see, our investment is very much at risk
now. The overall Big Picture is just so dependent on all these small details
and if you’re going to pretend that trying is everything, I’m afraid we’ll just
have to say: not good enough. Come up
with an argument for why we need to keep you or get the boot.
Yes, I know the big guys should be caring and all that, but
my point is: so should you. Really caring. Your daily excuses not to pay
attention to real life is rather a problem and a soap opera version of caring
is not going to get this right. Lots of drama has its distractions, but I’m
sorry to say, you can consider this your third and final warning.
Alright, are we clear now - no poor-me nonsense, just
clarity of thinking and honest assessment?
Good. See you next
week then. I look forward to your answers and really hope you find something we
can work with.
Thank you. Good day.
