bliss dancing with the bogey men

Well…it’s been a while. I’d hang my head in shame and apologise profusely then tell you all of my excuses, but frankly, that wouldn’t be authentic. I have been on a magical mystery tour of confronting, claiming, challenging and creating; and sitting down to think about it, never mind write about it, just didn’t feature.

I have spent the last few months dealing with ‘issues’. I am learning to dance with my own personal Bogey Men as I yank them out of the cupboard by the scruff of their necks and face them down in a battle of will and wits. Fun Hey?

I last wrote just before I heard the splendid news that the insurance company had decided, after much long winded deliberation, that they would not pay out for our fire. This meant, that after months of slow dancing with Bogey Man Number One (fear of tedious paper-work and mind-numbing details) I had to move on to Bogey Men Numbers Two and Three (fear of screaming the house down in public and fear of entering the legal system as a paying client).

Bogey Man Number Two went rather well. I wrote a fire and brimstone binge-vomit letter to the insurance company, edited it extensively, got a very nice reply and, after more time than sense, was pushed ever more firmly to Bogey Man Number Three – the legal system, aaaargh! (I agreed to dance with this young Bogey Man after much careful thought. I am still in the throes of an extended two-step, but feeling almost blasé and ready to up the pace a little.)

Wish that I could say that these three Bogey Men were all that I’ve had on my dance card, because as a friend says, “never take on more than three big elephants” (I know that this seems like a mixed metaphor, but I am sure your intelligence can extend to this.) No, I have to confess to agreeing to dance with several more charmers at the monster party and added the following to my list:

Bogey Man Dance Card:
• Fear of de-stabilising my family
• Fear of confronting institutions and The System effectively
• Fear of hitting my husband on the head because we deal with change differently
• Fear of not being able to afford all the new costs we now have
• Fear of losing all my support by leaving town
• Fear of getting stuck in the same place
• Fear of never getting my car sorted out
• Fear of fear
• Fear of bogey men
• Fear of anything you want to think about and fill in here.

But guess what? I took them all on and agreed to dance. Yes siree, I gave up being a wall-flower :) I just did what I had to do… and I still am. And you know what? I’m still at the party, getting fitter and dancing with my ‘Boogie Men’. (Some are even beginning to look quite sweet, with boring bow ties and lets-just-do-this smiles.)

I comfort myself with this thought: by the end of this, if nothing else, I'm going to be a great dancer!